What is IT?
No, not something simple like how is IT done.
I’m asking, what’s the purpose of IT?
What did the creator intend for IT to be?
Did he contemplate on what makes IT great?
Did he constitute back shots, squirting and orgasms would give IT, ITs description?
Did he say that appearance, body count, stamina, and performance are all that matters?
Deepak Chopra says “because intimacy is now so totally identified with the sexual act, fulfillment has become confused with performance” further he says “intimacy in the physical sense is usually taken to be the same as having an orgasm but no matter how exciting it is, an orgasm is a sensation centered in the ego true intimacy is shared self-expression”.
This excerpt prompted me to ask is it more to IT than just performance?
When IT’s brought up, men decide if IT’s worth it based on how wet she gets, but the more you engage, connect, handle and caress, the wetter she becomes.
Women decide to add the body or exclude based on how big it got, how long it stayed up, how many rounds he gave her, how well he executed whispering in her ear while simultaneously measuring his strokes, and if all else fails how well he moved his tongue but the more you captivate him the more enthralled he becomes.
The more involved you are the more engaged he will be, the softer your voice is the longer he stays up.
Does eye connection matter?
Sometimes we close our eyes the entire time, What are you thinking about? Are you attempting to connect spiritually?is looking at that person turning you off? are you thinking about someone else? are you just focused on the release?
Does touch matter?
Think about it for a second, have you ever had it without someone holding your hand? without someone looking into your eyes?
Should we be able to have an emotionless display of affection? A casual connection? Like a computer with no wifi, connected but disconnected lol)
Most people have categories, they give “different strokes for different folks”
Gazing into one another’s eyes and holding hands while figuratively and literally touching souls would be considered lovemaking
Headboard ramming sessions would be considered a more relaxed encounter with fewer expectations.
What about when intimacy is removed from the person you created a relationship with, the one you supposed to love?
What about when slow, deep strokes show up in the causal interactions and strings are attached?
What about when the same exchange is being experienced by multiple people? When them strokes ain’t so different.
Is a conversation prior to, necessary?
a conversation about likes and dislikes before penetration builds anticipation and excitement.
You can tell how much someone is into you by how much creative effort they put into doing the things you told them you enjoy. Along the way, they create new patterns and pleasures but it stems from things you’ve told them in.
A conversation can also eliminate the stigma that in order for IT to be great we must pay attention to detail, deliver a conversation-worthy presentation, withdraw our feelings, and or put up with toxicity.
Without a conversation, we become subject to manipulation for one’s own gain or pleasure also knows as we expose ourselves to getting played with.
Games are dangerous the moment you decide to participate in them, knowingly and unknowingly, IT’s now a contest.
If restrictions are established due to lack of transparency, the focus is illuminated on outshining, or one-upping the other therefore we aren’t getting stimulus from anything else that entanglement provides.
Condoms are uncomfortable and I don’t care how many times your parents tell you IT feels the same it doesn’t..
so why do we have to use them?
Because we withhold information from one another due to fear of the other not handling our truth properly or we feel it will make that person not want us so we lie, we reduce its significance and trivialize it.
Why do we expose ourselves to be devalued in this manner? Why do we risk our lives like this?
The creator intended sex to be a sacred energy exchange.
Nothing sacred comes from lies or lying by omission.
Communicating one’s intentions and needs can stop a lot of heartbreak and unnecessary drama.
We control one another to get what we want based on our own ulterior motives with no regard for what the other person craves.
Healthy sex can be an intoxication that won’t cause hangovers if handled maturely.
Acquiring the other person’s consent, their understanding of predicted intentions and shared pleasure matters most.
Next time ask yourself
What does “it” mean to you?
are you invested in the moment?
Are you willing to dig deeper?
Do you want to know what shared- expression feels like?
Or are you just trying to feed your ego?
When I see what’s going on in Amerikkka it makes me feel a few emotions with “BET” being the most prominent one.
I’ve been privy to the lack of concern with BLACK lives in this country (No offense I love all people but I’m not including another color this time) but I’ve never witnessed an attack so blatantly approved.
If I was to compare it to something more surface level, it’s like you find a new significant other (President-Elect -Biden) after your last relationship abused the shit out of you and this new person isn’t perfect but the last four years have been hell so you know you have to make another decision AND your favorite uncle (Obama) vouched for him so you have to give it a try with hope to move forward. Your ex ( Trump) believes they were perfect, that they treated you with the utmost respect and deserves a second chance and you are basically lying saying they were that bad and they demand you reconsider, and until you do they’ll be popping up at your door, having their cousins harass you on social media, on the street, in the grocery store, in your DM’s, on your timeline and on your television. On the day you get engaged they’re whole family breaks into the location your new significant other is planning to propose to you, in an effort to steal the ring and stop the engagement. Despite the demonic scheme to divert your engagement, it successfully goes through.
When their plan failed, they reveal new plans to terrorize your wedding day too.
In this situation, I would go through a slew of scenarios because;
1. They got me fucked up, after all the trauma you’ve put me through you decide that’s not enough, you have to continue because you think I don’t know what’s good for me? The emotions I think I felt I just don’t understand and you were the best thing that could have ever happen to me.
2. This is a comedy, you had your chance and you blew it so I’m moving on and there is nothing more to say, just step aside with grace. The fact that you won’t is actually really funny.
3. Actually this isn’t funny at all. You and your minions are serious, my family and friends are going to have to armor up because y’all have shown y’all’s asses and lost y’all’s minds.
Now I know that comparison is trivial and not as serious as what’s going on but it’s familiar, demonic, nasty, and petty and exactly what’s going on in Amerikkka.
I’m trying to understand the real problem, well what I really want is for them to say the real problem “ we have no reason not to like you we are just haters and instead of identifying our own blessings as a race we harp on you all’s and we have since the beginning of time, we envy your talents, your melanin, your beauty, your brains, your resilience, your strength, your ability to overcome adversity, your stability despite our greatest efforts to tear down the basic fundamentals of your entire existence, we hate your genetic makeup and therefore we as a whole race of people vowed in unison to steal a country from its original people, go to another country take you from your land spread you out so you forget your heritage , enslave you, kill you, rape you, try to dilute you, attempt to extinct you, strip you from your history and brainwash you to believe you are inferior to us so we can rule over your people for years and years to come and you are jeopardizing that with your overarching success as a race” but they will never admit that so what do we do?
Let’s be honest, protesting ain’t working. It’s a setup.
They’ve shown us that when we do it it’s seen as a display of violence.
When they do it, they understand, they want to fight with them they get to live to tell the story about how they broke into THE FUCKIN U.S. CAPITAL BUILDING
But when we do it? It’s like they’ve opened the doors to the county jail and its angry prisoners are upset about the treatment they receive and the only way to maintain control is to shoot them down like mad dogs in the street.
It’s delusion at its finest, but it’s not shocking nor surprising.
They do this animal ass act all the time in different industries, and every-time we act appalled.
Every-time we act like their agenda hasn’t been revealed.
Do you know what we do?
We continue to fight because that’s who the fuck we are!
Continue to go after our dreams because IT GETS THE PEOPLE GOING!
In the ’90s the songs and movies had us and our parents “ feeling like black was the thing to be” because it is!!!!!!
We shape the culture of the world and get no credit but we do get validation, this act was the validation that we are tickling some feathers!
We moving mountains and building temples!
We have been fixated on the idea that we have to ask them for something, We don’t.
We have to get on the same page with our God and continue to do what we been doing together.
We have to get out and continue to take that shit!
We’ve been overcoming their negative attacks!
If your dream is to become the president of the United States and make a change President Obama and Madam Vice President Kamala Harris have shown us the limit does not exist!!!!
Black excellence is an internal journey that begins as a flame within each of us and lights the world on fire.
Don’t let anything stop you.
Take the steps needed to get there and be the best that you can!
Show up for your dreams every single day of your life, it’s your assignment, your duty!
We must make an imprint on this earth, especially this country!
We were born with divine powers and it shows in how we talk, how we walk, how we show up in the world and they see it too.
That’s why they’ve been trying to take it from us, been trying to end our lives before we figure it out so we don’t amount to it.
That time has come to an end!
We see what y’all doing and we are not impressed but
BITCH BET!
Watch us make this shit shake!
Do I beat this bitch the fuck up? Nah I can’t do that, I’m trying my hardest to come in peace.
Okay so just cut her off then, ain’t no coming back from that I’m thinking to myself as I’m pacing back and forth struggling to light my wood cause my hands are shaking uncontrollably so my 1st attempt at calming down is not working.
I mean out of all people, her? I cannot believe she did that shit to me… I loved her like a sister.
In mid-thought, I stop myself because I refuse to be sad over anybody ever again I don’t care who it Is.
Okay well then forgiving her and letting her go is the best solution for me right now, it’s about my peace and my sanity.
I have to be on zoom in an hour to talk about my novel, self-love, and confidence, and I’m still in my pajamas looking like the night before because I’m crying over something someone else did.
I looked in the mirror and said you don’t have time for the melodramatics Modi dry your eyes and handle your fucking business.
There are a few people you think you can trust with every single detail of your life because you just know they would never betray you never disappoint you.
“Men come and go but your friends are forever…” they say… yea sometimes that’s true, sometimes you luck up and get the “girlfriends” life you know before they cut Toni but sometimes you gotta watch yo friends like you gotta watch yo man.
Who wants to live life like that? Always looking over their shoulders.
You know how hard it is to remind myself all day long
“ you got this shorty.. you are enough.. you are love and light.. you are a money magnet, (you know all the self-love affirmations)AND make sure I get SOME sleep cause lets be honest 8hours ain’t happening, pay attention to my business needs, eat at least 3k calories a day cause stress makes me lose weight and we know I can’t afford that, walk my dog, keep my hygiene up AND worry about if the people closest to me have my best interest at heart.
I’m exhausted after typing all of that. Life doesn’t wait until you’re over one traumatic event to throw another one at you. It piles it on all at the same time and you don’t have time to sit and wallow in your sadness.
You better throw your hair in a bun throw on something that hugs the curves and trust yourself.
Get to know you through and through and I mean get your inner pep talk game together.
When you feel like you at the bottom and you want to give up that’s when you stand up! Shower, smoke, burn some sage, and turn on some music.
Move your body, you have got to shift that energy until you’re able to deal with what’s heavy on your heart.
If you supposed to be at work don’t call off cause you’re sad, take yo ass to work and deal with your sadness when you get home. Life is really about how you react. He said they wouldn’t prosper, not that they wouldn’t form.
How’s your relationship with your mind? Does it control you? Or do you control it?
The world will make you feel like you have to suppress your feelings and be ashamed of them.
Like you have to hide your emotions.
You don’t have to hide, suppress, or ignore your emotions.
You do however need to come up with a trauma plan.
First, you need to acknowledge your emotions are triggered.
Everyone has a battle they’re fighting within but they are either aware or unaware.
When you’re aware you react differently.
Aware doesn’t mean you’re exempt from trauma and heartache.
That’s normally where the advice runs thin. They forget to help us come up with a step by step trauma plan.
They forget to tell us when they changed their mindset, shit didn’t stop happening.. they became in control of their mind.
In control enough to say yes that hurt but right now I have to go to work, I get off at 6 pm and I have to take my aunt some food.
When I get home at 7 pm I’m gonna pour some wine and cry my eyes out but I’m not going to stay there I’m going to give myself time to process this.
I’m going to ask those questions “ why she do that to me? Was I a bad friend? Was it me? Did I deserve that?” Crying is a release so yes by all means cry, let it out but once yo first glass of wine is gone you are done with that pity party shit.
I don’t care who did it or who fault it was it doesn’t change who you are.
“It’s on you it’s not in you.” Shake that shit off and turn on Columbiana.
Pull your strength from her when she watched her mother and father get murdered by the people she grew up thinking would protect her. That little girl wiped her tears and focused on her mission.
She waited until she got out of harm’s way to release.
She handled her business first then she felt all the hurt and pain.
Your strength has got to be stronger than your feelings.
Your inner pep talk has got to be louder than your demons.
Guess what little girl, you better buckle up and take the hits and I mean you gon have to eat them bitches.
Make sure your business is handled first cause on the real u ain’t gon get no peace or money being in your feelings and ain’t nothing cute about being broke.
Then when it’s safe and I mean you better make sure the coast is clear, lick your own wounds, comfort yourself then continue being the gangsta you are.
If everybody counts you out you still have to have the confidence of a Goddess with an army behind you “ I’ll stand alone before I give up” Your pep talk to yourself has got to be stronger than 6 friends hyping you up.
NO ONE will treat you better than you treat you….
You gotta have the mindset of Chris brown “ain’t nobody worried bout them… its always me” And wear it like a badge of honor it ain’t cockiness its confidence
We were taught how to survive not to live.
We were taught to allow them to do whatever the fuck they want to do to us.
Before you continue reading, I want you to know this is NOT a Kumbaya moment, this is a call to order, a call to action.
This is a reminder that it is NOT business as usual. We are at war.
This is a reminder that THIS has been going on for 401 years! This ain’t new!
This is a reminder that at the police brutality protest they use police brutality.
It’s not just “ that’s happening in Atlanta” it’s happening in our back yard.
George Floyd is NOT some black man from Houston! He Is our brother and NONE of those cops should have been allowed bail. That pension shouldn’t even be an option.
Breonna Taylor is not just another black woman that was accidentally killed by the police she is our sister and those EVIL ass cops need to be in Prison!
Rayshard Brooks was not just another black man drunk in a parking lot that got killed for not complying. That is our fucking brother that was just trying to get something to eat!
CHICAGO! LAQUAN MCDONALD IS NOT ANOTHER BLACK GANGSTER FROM CHICAGO!
HE REALLY IS OUR EDUCATED BROTHER, OUR COUSIN! HIS LIFE MATTERED
I don’t want to calm you down. I’m not trying to soothe your soul. I’m here to tell you to stay mad.
I’m here to tell you to stop asking your brothers and sisters for discounts. Stop canceling these black celebrities for not showing up in the way we think they should( I’m guilty of this).
Im here to tell you to encourage your children to go to HBCU’s so they can be unapologetically black for at least 4 years. The only place they will get OUR history and where they will expose the lies of the devil. They will single-handedly break that thought that only white people are inventors… this will tear down that “ white is superior” because they are not!
This is not a race war. This is good vs evil and I’m here to tell you to get right with God, ask him to give you the strength to fight this battle, the courage to NOT turn your cheek, the courage to fight back against evil, and stand strong next to your family.
Your skin color is something to be proud of. God said I’m going to make my strongest soldiers black because I know they will make me proud. ANYTHING worth having isn’t easy, stop asking these people for basic human rights START TAKING THAT SHIT.
