IT

What is IT?

No, not something simple like how is IT done.

I’m asking, what’s the purpose of IT?

What did the creator intend for IT to be?

Did he contemplate on what makes IT great?

Did he constitute back shots, squirting and orgasms would give IT, ITs description?

Did he say that appearance, body count, stamina, and performance are all that matters?

Deepak Chopra says “because intimacy is now so totally identified with the sexual act, fulfillment has become confused with performance” further he says “intimacy in the physical sense is usually taken to be the same as having an orgasm but no matter how exciting it is, an orgasm is a sensation centered in the ego true intimacy is shared self-expression”.

This excerpt prompted me to ask is it more to IT than just performance?

When IT’s brought up, men decide if IT’s worth it based on how wet she gets, but the more you engage, connect, handle and caress, the wetter she becomes.

Women decide to add the body or exclude based on how big it got, how long it stayed up, how many rounds he gave her, how well he executed whispering in her ear while simultaneously measuring his strokes, and if all else fails how well he moved his tongue but the more you captivate him the more enthralled he becomes.

The more involved you are the more engaged he will be, the softer your voice is the longer he stays up.

Does eye connection matter?

Sometimes we close our eyes the entire time, What are you thinking about? Are you attempting to connect spiritually?is looking at that person turning you off? are you thinking about someone else? are you just focused on the release?

Does touch matter?

Think about it for a second, have you ever had it without someone holding your hand? without someone looking into your eyes?

Should we be able to have an emotionless display of affection? A casual connection? Like a computer with no wifi, connected but disconnected lol)

Most people have categories, they give “different strokes for different folks”

Gazing into one another’s eyes and holding hands while figuratively and literally touching souls would be considered  lovemaking

Headboard ramming sessions would be considered a more relaxed encounter with fewer expectations.

 What about when intimacy is removed from the person you created a relationship with, the one you supposed to love?

What about when slow, deep strokes show up in the causal interactions and strings are attached?

What about when the same exchange is being experienced by multiple people? When them strokes ain’t so different.

Is a conversation prior to, necessary?

a conversation about likes and dislikes before penetration builds anticipation and excitement.

You can tell how much someone is into you by how much creative effort they put into doing the things you told them you enjoy. Along the way, they create new patterns and pleasures but it stems from things you’ve told them in.

A conversation can also eliminate the stigma that in order for IT to be great we must pay attention to detail, deliver a conversation-worthy presentation, withdraw our feelings, and or put up with toxicity.

Without a conversation, we become subject to manipulation for one’s own gain or pleasure also knows as we expose ourselves to getting played with.

Games are dangerous the moment you decide to participate in them, knowingly and unknowingly, IT’s now a contest.

If restrictions are established due to lack of transparency, the focus is illuminated on outshining, or one-upping the other therefore we aren’t getting stimulus from anything else that entanglement provides.

Condoms are uncomfortable and I don’t care how many times your parents tell you IT feels the same it doesn’t..

so why do we have to use them?

Because we withhold information from one another due to fear of the other not handling our truth properly or we feel it will make that person not want us so we lie, we reduce its significance and trivialize it.

Why do we expose ourselves to be devalued in this manner? Why do we risk our lives like this?

The creator intended sex to be a sacred energy exchange.

Nothing sacred comes from lies or lying by omission.

Communicating one’s intentions and needs can stop a lot of heartbreak and unnecessary drama.

We control one another to get what we want based on our own ulterior motives with no regard for what the other person craves.

Healthy sex can be an intoxication that won’t cause hangovers if handled maturely.

Acquiring the other person’s consent, their understanding of predicted intentions and shared pleasure matters most.

Next time ask yourself

What does “it” mean to you?

are you invested in the moment?

Are you willing to dig deeper?

Do you want to know what shared- expression feels like?

Or are you just trying to feed your ego?