We Outside

“Does my hair look ok?”

“Is my makeup blended right?”

“Is my pieces hitting the way the mirror suggests or is my iPhone telling the truth?”

“It took me 4 hours to find an outfit and oh f*ck, is he looking at my toes? I didn’t have time to hit the salon.”

“ Her outfit is so cute, man I feel underdressed maybe I should go home”

These are the circus of thoughts that run through my mind as my friends and I  were sitting at the table at brunch during the first hot day of the year.

I mean I did hear something bout the world was about to open up but they also said this shit would only last two weeks and here we are hitting our 1 year anniversary of the global shut down so forgive me for thinking they were bluffing.

I was in the house for 1 year I did go a few places but then right back home .. Writing that is absolutely crazy but I’ve learned so much about myself that I didn’t know and I’ve gotten so much closer to God.

It’s an interesting experience getting to know yourself.

Don’t stop reading like I’m finna get on my single girl soapbox cuz this ain’t that.
I’m talking about getting to know what my heart desires and the vibes that make me thrive.

Getting to know what I  like to do like the entities that touch my soul,  I’ve been able to reach a level of peace that I never knew existed.

This year has shown me that my life and the outcome are up to me fully not just a Lil bit.

This year gave me an opportunity to check and check in with me for myself by myself.

Learning that  I am in control of my thoughts liberated me to a point of no return.

But I also learned not every thought is mine so when I went out for the first time I had to redirect my thoughts of insecurities to my new views of clarity.

When I shifted my focus I was able to enjoy the day.

I even had a couple of drinks and literally mean two and after the second one, I couldn’t stop yawning.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m elated that we are kinda opening back up but I only got a few hours for outside in me these days.

I tried to hide it because nothing is more of a mood killer than a sleepy bitch especially when we were really having a ball with great laughs and stories of success full of passion.

I could tell we all became more aligned better business-minded individuals.

My thoughts from my old ways of thinking gave me anxiety about going back out into civilization after being put up for so long but my teachings from solitude helped me handle it like the G I always claim to be.

It’s not like I didn’t know better in the past, It’s that it registers different now.

I have some advice for you based on my first experience back out, as we go back into the hustle and bustle of life, remember who you became in isolation, remember what you learned, and show up as that person.

It’s refreshing to step back out and get some fresh air, be around good vibes and enjoy it but don’t forget the unfortunate but fortunate blessing this was.

Let’s be real it had a lot of heartache, grief, and pain but it gave us an opportunity to catch our breath.

Life is constantly changing and shit is always happening but this time allowed us to stop and focus on things that truly matter and as a whole we all became stronger.

So step out don’t forget your mask, pop yo shit, get fly but when you get the moment to exercise what you’ve learned I hope you choose the new you and tell the old you screw you.

-April 7, 2021